lily's blog

Young Voices...all it takes is one...

Wow – what a letter – I have three children who are all a bit older than Justin and I’ve been telling them all their lives that “it only takes one” but it definitely has more impact when told by someone who’s been there.

The flip side is that it only takes one person like you, Justin , to turn a life around – yours or someone else’s. You are insightful, intelligent and gifted; a very good or very bad combination depending upon how you choose to channel your energies.

Making a change in your own life is much more difficult than helping another person do the same. You have my respect and admiration for choosing what must be, for you and so many others, the more difficult path. And while I agree that the support of a loving family and friends is extremely important, in the end it really does come down to just you and the work you are willing to do. Thank you for your letter – I am going to send it on to my children and to all the children I know... maybe the “one” it will take for someone else right now is you.

I applaud Ryan Day for his strength, courage and compassion and I agree with much of what he says. I think that many of us, myself included, are only a paycheck or two away from being unable to pay our mortgage, rent or utility bills. And Ryan offered a candid glimpse of the homeless world. But that glimpse came through a window with a limited view. Because we cannot see the ‘homeless experience’ through any eyes but our own and must measure the actions of others by the yardstick of our own reality.

Many homeless individuals live in worlds with realities much different from ours. Ryan was an inexperienced ‘homeless’ college man for whom being homeless was an experiment, not a continuing lifestyle choice. After being homeless for over 21 years, I would suspect there is something about the street life that appeals to “Shamus” but feel fortunate that I do not understand what that attraction might be. As for the unwashed server, I too have worked in many restaurants but am cynical enough to think that there may have been some creative ways to have accomplished being clean enough to have kept a job. Especially if you were clean enough to have been hired just three days before.

What is Sexy Anyway?

We just can’t get a break...and by we, I mean those of us who happen to be over 50 years old. Not only have we been told we are not sexy by traditionally sexy standards but now it seems we are not sexy as far as non-profit or charitable organizations go!

I know what the marketers mean – old people don’t have that glitz; they don’t have the same powers of persuasion; the same tender touch on the sentimental chord that makes it so easy to open a checkbook. That’s what they mean by sexy – the ability to emotionally move, manipulate and sway someone into seeing things a certain way. Not that the ‘sexy’ causes aren’t valid ones because they are. But, as with all things sexy, the ones most deserving of the title are often the ones most easily overlooked.

Besides, I happen to disagree with those who would exclude me from either category because I think I’m very sexy and I want to continue to be sexy until I can’t ‘be’ anymore. I think we all do. But we can’t do that unless we educate ourselves about just what sexy is and then have a few conversations with others about what we have learned. I think sexy is being confident. It is being healthy, vibrant, engaged and active. Sexy is being curious and inquisitive and open to new ideas. Offering and accepting friendship is sexy. Insight is sexy, intelligence is sexy and knowledge is sexy. A great sense of humor is very sexy. Caring and compassion are sexy. Sexy is going beyond our boundaries and sometimes sexy is accepting our limitations. “Getting it” is sexy...(no pun intended). Sexy is being and doing and helping others to do and to be all that they are interested in doing and being. And I, along with many others like me here at the St. Johns County Council on Aging, are doing all those sexy things every single day And we have some very sexy friends who help us do all those very sexy things.

I guess my point is that we need to re-define what sexy is and we need to do that now. Because one day we might be waiting (very sexily) for someone to help us do something we want to do. But those we rely on might be looking right past us.

Has it really been said that life is a cookie?!?

Finally, an article about a school that seems to be doing something right.

The ability to run a business and to do so successfully is an important life skill, and isn’t learning a few life skills the point of being in school? And doesn’t a lack of relevance contribute to lack of motivation, which in turn becomes a determining factor in the decision to quit school before graduation day? The fact is that most of those who don’t make it through their senior year of high school are no less intelligent than their cap-and-gown-donning peers. What they are is bored and what they lack is the ability to make a connection between what they are learning and what they will need to know. It has also been suggested that those who do graduate do so ill-prepared for either college or the working world.